September 16th, 2009
She stretches, her long limbs tangle in the soft blankets as she pulls herself from another peaceful journey to Nod. A new day is dawning, one filled with curiosity and good intention.
Silently she searches for her favorite friend – a tattered bear who has not left her side since they were first introduced. His worn brown fur smells exactly like her and his stitched-button nose is nearly threadbare from her endless kisses. He is her everything.
At seven years old she is my definition of beauty and grace. I lose myself in her tiny details – a lone freckle at the base of her nose, sparkly-painted fingernails, skin that is as soft as it was the day she was born. She is my everything.
Filled with a quiet exuberance, she lives to observe the fluttering of butterflies and the steps of a dancer, making me long for that same innocence. Her excited chatter is broken by youthful laughter, her smile revealing a mixture of both baby and adult teeth. My little girl is growing up.
We curl around each other, mother and daughter, reciting the same verse we have since she was newborn, expressing a love for each other that will never end. I want to slow time down, make each second last longer than it does. As day passes to night, she seems to grow a little more while needing me a little less. I string together memories and photographs, watching her metamorphosis from infant to toddler to child to… the development of her being so obvious and natural in hindsight.
As a child, I believed that growing up was the greatest challenge I would face. As a parent, I now realize that letting go is far more difficult.

Posted in Deep Thoughts | No Comments »
August 17th, 2009
The world, a tangled mess of war and famine, remains a beautiful thing. So often the minute details, the individual stitches that hold the patchwork together, are overlooked. It becomes natural to miss the very thing that reflects back at you. In discovering life, the one I live my experiences in, I have noticed things I never have before – one season spilling into another, patterns in strawberry fields, long shadows cast by tall trees. Feeling a bit like Alice after she plummeted down the rabbit hole, my perspective has morphed from cavalier to a deeper understanding.
Images of pastoral settings weigh heavy on my heart, calling to mind memories of lush grass tickling my bandaged knees while the scent of honeysuckle, so sweet and pungent, fills the air with richness. Stretching upwards to the bellies of the clouds, the amber colored rocks of a steep mountainside stack up unevenly like the thick chapters of a classic Dickens novel, so wonderfully disjointed. I hear my sister between broken giggles, a melodic offering of tag-you’re-it. Her long hair streaked with gold catches in the sunlight as she pulls me back to reality.
Summer is already being cast aside for the cooler months that autumn offers, the leaves once an elaborate shade of jade, now yellowing slightly while loosening their grip on the twisted branches of trees. Soon, the days will be short and the nights will be frosty.
Droplets of rain trickle down the windowpane like tears on the cheeks of a young child, creating wet pathways along their journey. Quenching the dry earth of its thirst, petals cower against the weight of the shower while rainbow pools of gasoline puddle upon the pavement. Stars cling to their black canvass like little pinpricks in a piece of paper, breaking the darkness with their constant light. The dulcet drumming lulls me off to dream.
Posted in Deep Thoughts | No Comments »
June 16th, 2009
The arrival of summer brings the usual festive traditions, those friendly reminders that take me back to my childhood; the smell of grilling hot dogs on the barbeque, the feel of wet sand between my toes, the taste of cold lemonade bought for 25¢ from a road-side stand. It is all so familiar, like a long-lost best friend that I grew to count on.
At six years old, freedom was found on the seat of Pink Missy. Complete with sparkly tasseled handlebars and multi-colored Spokey Dokes, my pink and white bicycle allowed me to explore the world (or at least the small town I grew up in) with ease and confidence. Sitting ever-so keenly in my basket was my prized possession, my sidekick if you will – Miss. Piggy, a yellow and pink stuffed friend who was given to me my very first Christmas from Uncle Frank. She ventured everywhere I did… and without question or hesitation. She was one courageous pig, I tell you!
It never occurred to either of us to be wary of scraped knees or loss of stuffing, though we both have scars to prove an otherwise unsafe expedition; she with her gnarly re-stitching performed by my older sister, me with my rather extensive knowledge of what it feels like to have a bare-skin-meets-loose-gravel kind of situation.
No matter how many times we tumbled and didn’t make it home as intact as we were when we departed, our routine never changed. Each morning, we left when the grass was still wet with dew, each night we returned when the sun was kissing the horizon. It was how I learned to tell time, the indicators that referenced where I was supposed to be at any given moment.
Life was easy then. I sustained myself on a diet of peanut butter sandwiches and Tahiti Treat (an odd combination though surprisingly complimentary) and paid little attention to the fact that I wore ill-matching clothes and my Shirley Temple-like perm left little to be desired. I had cheeks that resembled a chipmunk and a little round belly that, in my frilly red bikini, stuck out in the most adorable way. Beyond that, my legs were speckled with mosquito bites and bruises and my pronunciation of simple words like baseball and shorts always caused a giggle or two. When it came down to it, all of that equated to very little. The only thing that concerned me was what was around the next corner, what the next adventure Miss. Piggy and I had ahead of us on good ol’ Pink Missy.
While I may never don another red bikini with such reckless abandon, I would love to live life the way I did then… taking pleasure in the simple things.
Posted in Deep Thoughts | No Comments »
May 8th, 2009
With the outbreak of the swine flu, I, like many other travelers, have been re-routed from Mexico to another tropical destination. There was only one option available at relatively the same cost as my already-paid for trip – Cuba.
Initially, I was hesitant with the vacation switch-up. I had heard varying stories from someone-who-knew-someone-who-went-to-Cuba; from rave reviews of the country and its people to warnings of theft and poverty. Suggestions of ‘bring your own food’ seemed to come from every direction which silently equated to losing space in my luggage for that extra pair of strappy sandals.
These issues aside, it wasn’t the concern of water contamination nor the possible language barrier that had me fearful. It was the insects (namely, CRs – an acronym I have given to a certain creepy bug; see Disney’s Wall-E for further reference).
It took several years of discussion before I finally worked up the courage to plan the trip to Mexico. As someone who can’t read, hear or speak the actual words that the letters CR represent, it’s not surprising to know that even “La Cucharacha”, a stereotypical mariachi band song, has been known to send me into a fear-induced tailspin. Recently, I had reached a peaceful place of denial that they didn’t really exist in Mexico… but Cuba? I hadn’t made it that far in my ignorant belief system yet.
Then, as the travel plans were confirmed, I took a deep breath and made a decision to close my ears and open my mind.
Having thought about the negative feedback I had been given, I realized that I can find these very same issues here in Canada. Poverty? Sad, but true. Theft? A daily occurrence. Water Contamination? Why else would there be ‘boil water advisories’? Language Barriers? Of course, we are a multi-cultural nation after all. Insects? As much as I hate to admit it, yes, we have CRs here too.
As travelers, we need to look beyond the unpaved roads of commerce and the lack of convenience that we have grown accustomed to, otherwise is there really any purpose for exploring our planet? To open ourselves up to a world of experience and culture means that each of us has a greater understanding of what it means to live.
Instead of heading into this vacation with worries and expectations, I have decided to accept whatever comes my way… even if it’s crawling across the ground.
Posted in Deep Thoughts | No Comments »
January 15th, 2009
Man meets woman. Man and woman fall in love. Man and woman live happily ever after. Since the dawn of time, this very premise has been the seemingly endless merry-go-round we have all be spinning around on. As children we gather together, hoping and praying that Cinderella’s glass slipper will be returned to its rightful owner. As adolescents we hold our breath in reading the final scenes from Romeo and Juliet. As adults… Well, we tend to be a little jaded.
By the time our mid-twenties roll around we have already come to the unfortunate discovery that the things we grew up believing are, in fact, quite different in reality. We begin to realize that the premise of man-meets-woman is, actually, far more complicated than one would have thought. It isn’t as easy as 1+1=2. The mathematics of love and romance don’t often make sense and sometimes we end up losing more than we gained. We gamble in love, the stakes are raised, and each time the heart is put on the table, we risk the other person folding. Even though the threat of a heart-breaking-gut-wrenching-cry-your-eyes-out kind of breakup will always linger in the backdrop, this, to me, seems like a better alternative than to live a lifetime alone, to awake each morning in a bed that is still half-perfectly made. Life seems somewhat meaningless unless snide comments can be made about the toilet seat being left in the upright position!
The images we were plagued with as youngsters have left us very confused as adults (not to mention, borderline hyperglycemic). In all of my thirty years, I have not yet been rescued by a gallant man, who is not only beautiful and riding, but of course, a white stallion, but who has also befriended a colony of woodland creatures. Instead, I have seen various sized men who drive import cars and have buddies who talk sprockets, gears and games.
While I may never wear a glass slipper upon my foot, I know I will be alright. Besides, glass is so 16th century!
Posted in Random | No Comments »
January 9th, 2009
Walking the ice-covered streets this frigid morning, afraid a single misstep would result in a Chaplin-esque tumble to the pavement, it occurred to me – we are only in our first month of winter. And, try as I might to be the eternal optimist, I fear, come February 2nd, the famous furry rodent will deliver grim news: six more weeks before warmer days are on the horizon.
I now understand the whole fly-south-for-the-winter-thing, I would make the trek too if I were a bird. Just think of it, free round-trip airfare without the concern of a canceled flight or loss of luggage – brilliant, I say!
Without a pair of wings of my own to whisk me away to a sandy-beached-blue-skied destination, I find myself searching continuously for a warm place to escape to, somewhere to defrost and melt away the cynicism that the minus temperatures have brought on.
Weighing the pros and cons of waiting out the winter in misery or making my way to a tropical locale, I have come to the conclusion that while I would gladly trade snowmen for sandcastles, mugs of hot chocolate for slushy beverages in hollowed-out coconuts, frozen pine trees for towering palms, there is one great thing about winter: it’s not swimsuit season!
Posted in Random | No Comments »
January 4th, 2009
Resolution often means re-invention – of one’s internal or external self. Perhaps even both. We wait 365 days to decide to take it upon ourselves to do better, to be better. The arrival of January 1st causes a stir within each of us, we gather in groups with funky hats and obnoxious noise-makers to bid farewell to the passing year and to welcome the birth of a new calendar, but more than that, we are stepping into a hopeful future where we can showcase our new selves — the happier, healthier person we are each wanting to become.
I have often found resolutions to have the life expectancy of an already-bruised banana. You know it’s only a matter of days before the whole thing is turning into a mushy mess, saturated with pesky fruit-flies. But, that same girl with that sordid mental image of what it means to make a resolution went and made one this year – half in jest, half in… OK, all in jest, really. What did I resolve? To give up something near and dear to me: bacon!
I am quite certain my arteries are already planning a huge celebration (complete with an enthusiastic parade of pumping blood) at my mere mention of no longer having to process the nutrition-deficient deliciousness that this pork-product is. And, while a part of me has come to terms with the bacon-free Melissa, my taste buds will never.
So long, dear friend… you will be missed.
Posted in Random | No Comments »
|
|